Trying To Get Closer To God? Avoid This Mistake

TODAY'S TEACHING

This day the LORD your God commands you to do these statutes and judgments (precepts). Therefore, you shall be careful to do them with all your heart and with all your soul (your entire being).
 —Deuteronomy 26:16

Imagine having a friend who calls you regularly, except there's always something they need.

At first, you don't think much about it. You enjoy helping, and that's what friends do. But after a few months, you begin noticing that nearly every conversation ends with you agreeing to another favor. Eventually, you start wondering whether this person would ever call just to see how you're doing.

It's an uncomfortable feeling, especially when you genuinely care about the person.

I've thought about that in connection with prayer. We come to God with financial concerns, decisions we're struggling to make, people we love who need healing, and situations that have been troubling us for months. Sometimes we barely finish one prayer request before moving on to the next.

There's nothing wrong with asking God for help. Jesus taught us to pray for our daily bread, and Scripture repeatedly encourages us to bring our concerns before the Lord. But how much of our time with God is spent getting to know Him?

I've caught myself opening the Bible because I needed an answer to something. I'd read through a passage looking for a particular verse or some reassurance about what I was facing. And if I didn't find what I was looking for, I'd move on to another chapter.

Looking back, I wonder how much I missed because I was so occupied with my own situation. I was reading God's Word, but I wasn't always paying much attention to what God was showing me about Himself.

That realization has made me reconsider what I'm actually seeking when I spend time with the Lord.

The Man Who Wanted Eternal Life

The account of the rich young ruler in Mark 10 has always interested me, particularly because of how the conversation ended.

This young man wasn't casually curious about religion. Mark tells us that he came running to Jesus, knelt before Him, and asked, "Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?" (Mark 10:17)

He had a serious question, and he had come to the right Person.

Jesus spoke to him about the commandments. The young man replied that he had observed them since his youth. From his perspective, he had apparently done what was required of him.

Then we come to Mark 10:21.

"Then Jesus beholding him loved him."

I've read that verse many times, but those particular words still catch my attention. Jesus knew what was in this man's heart. He knew about his possessions, his attachments, and the decision he was about to face. Yet Scripture specifically tells us that Jesus loved him.

The Lord instructed him to sell what he owned, give to the poor, and follow Him.

"And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions." (Mark 10:22)

He walked away.

Think about that for a moment. He had approached Jesus wanting eternal life, but when the Lord told him what he needed to surrender, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

I've wondered what happened after that conversation. Did he return home and try to forget what Jesus had said? Did he look at his possessions differently? Perhaps he eventually reconsidered his decision. Scripture doesn't tell us.

What we do know is that he faced a choice between following Jesus and holding onto something he treasured. At that moment, he chose his possessions.

It's easy to read the account and think about how foolish that decision was. After all, he was standing in front of Jesus Himself! But I wonder how different we really are.

Most of us won't be asked to surrender great wealth. We may, however, find ourselves resisting God over something that seems considerably smaller. An old resentment. A habit we've become comfortable with. Pride that makes it difficult to apologize. A relationship we know is pulling us away from the Lord.

I've had occasions when I knew what Scripture taught about a particular attitude, yet I still found reasons to defend it. I could explain why I felt the way I did, why someone else's behaviour had upset me, and why changing my response wasn't quite as simple as it sounded.

Of course, none of those explanations changed what God's Word said.

The rich young ruler's story makes me think about how easily we can ask God to direct our lives while quietly hoping He won't interfere with certain parts of them.

Friendship With Jesus Involves Obedience

Jesus told His disciples, "Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." (John 15:14)

That's a remarkable statement. Jesus calls His followers friends, but He also connects that friendship with obedience.

I don't believe obedience is how we purchase God's love or earn salvation. Scripture makes it clear that we are saved by grace through faith. But if we claim to love Jesus, surely His teachings ought to matter to us.

Consider forgiveness.

Someone says something hurtful, and we spend the next several days thinking about it. We remember exactly what happened, replay the conversation, and imagine what we should have said. Maybe we explain the situation to someone else, partly because we want their opinion and partly because we want them to agree that we were right.

Then we open our Bibles and come across what Jesus teaches about forgiving others.

We know what the passage means. We've heard sermons about it. We may even have encouraged somebody else to forgive a person who hurt them. But now we're the ones who need to do it, and we don't particularly want to.

I think many Christians have experienced something like that. It's not always a lack of understanding that keeps us from obeying God. Sometimes we understand perfectly well, but obedience requires us to give up something we're still holding onto.

Resentment can be particularly difficult because it often feels justified. We remember what the other person did, and perhaps what they did really was wrong. Forgiveness doesn't require pretending otherwise. Nor does it mean abandoning healthy boundaries or allowing someone to continue mistreating us.

Still, there comes a point when we have to consider whether we're dealing with the hurt in a way that honors God.

Proverbs 3:12 says, "For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth."

I don't particularly enjoy being corrected (LOL). Even when someone makes a valid observation about my behaviour, I can feel the urge to explain myself before I've properly considered what they're saying.

If we're going to develop a closer relationship with the Lord, we need to be willing to receive His correction. Sometimes that means admitting we've been wrong without immediately adding a long explanation about why our behaviour was understandable.

It's uncomfortable, but necessary.

When God Doesn't Answer the Way We Expected

There are seasons when prayer becomes difficult for reasons that have nothing to do with unwillingness to obey.

You've been asking God to help a family member who's making destructive decisions, and months later the situation hasn't improved. Or you've prayed about an opportunity that seemed promising, only to watch it disappear. Perhaps you've prayed for healing and are still dealing with the same illness.

When something matters deeply to us, it can occupy an enormous amount of our attention. We think about it while working, bring it before God throughout the day, and return to it again before going to sleep.

We read Scripture hoping to find some encouragement that things are about to change. Then we hear another Christian share a testimony about an answered prayer. We're happy for them, but it can also remind us of what we're still waiting for.

There are situations that leave people carrying questions for years. Telling someone to simply have more faith doesn't necessarily help them understand what they're experiencing.

One reason I appreciate the Psalms is that the writers weren't afraid to acknowledge their struggles.

Psalm 73 is a good example.

Asaph was troubled by the prosperity of wicked people. He watched them enjoy circumstances that seemed unfair when compared with the difficulties faced by those who sought to live faithfully. His frustration was serious enough that he admitted his feet had almost slipped.

But as the psalm continues, something changes in his understanding. He begins to see his circumstances from a different perspective, and eventually he writes:

"Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee." (Psalm 73:25)

I find that statement especially meaningful because of everything that comes before it. Asaph hadn't started the psalm with that perspective. He had been deeply troubled by questions he couldn't answer.

Yet through his struggle, he came to recognize the value of belonging to God.

There may be prayers I continue bringing before the Lord for a long time. Some situations may never turn out the way I hoped, and I won't necessarily understand why. I can admit that without giving up on prayer because God knows best.

What concerns me is the possibility of allowing one unanswered request to overshadow everything else I know about God.

If my circumstances remain difficult, does that mean God is no longer worthy of my attention? If I don't receive the answer I wanted, should I lose interest in reading His Word?

Asaph's words remind me that God Himself is our greatest treasure, even when life leaves us with things we don't understand (easier said than done, I know).

When Christian Activity Takes the Place of Knowing God

I've also been thinking about something that can happen to Christians who are actively involved in serving others.

We become busy doing things for God.

There are church responsibilities, people who need encouragement, opportunities to volunteer, and countless practical tasks that require attention. Add work and family obligations, and it's easy to reach the end of the day wondering where the time went.

Much of that activity is good. Serving others matters, and the church needs people who are willing to contribute. But a person can spend hours preparing a Bible lesson, writing a devotional like this one, or answering questions about Scripture without necessarily spending much time considering what God is teaching them personally.

That might sound strange. After all, they're studying the Bible.

When I'm preparing Christian content for other people, I'm often thinking about how to explain a passage, which verses to include, and whether the material will be helpful. Those are legitimate concerns. Yet it's possible to become so focused on communicating a message that I overlook how it applies to my own life.

I might write about patience while becoming irritated over something relatively minor. I could encourage people to trust God while spending most of the day worrying about a situation I can't control.

And if I'm not careful, I can become more concerned about producing good Christian material than about responding to what Scripture is teaching me (faith without works is dead).

I don't say that to diminish the importance of ministry. We should serve faithfully and use the opportunities God gives us. I simply don't want to become someone who knows how to explain biblical principles but neglects to practice them.

Jesus addressed a related problem when He spoke about people who honoured God with their lips while their hearts remained far from Him (Matthew 15:8).

We can become familiar with the language of Christianity. We know what to say about faith, forgiveness, humility, and trusting the Lord. But what happens when those teachings interfere with our preferences?

How do we treat our families when we're tired? Are we honest when dishonesty would make life easier? Do we listen when someone points out a mistake, or do we immediately begin defending ourselves?

I suspect those ordinary moments reveal more about our spiritual condition than we'd sometimes like to admit.

Give God More Than a List of Prayer Requests

Developing a closer relationship with God doesn't require an elaborate routine.

We need to make time for Him, of course, but I think we can complicate something that ought to be a normal part of Christian life.

Open your Bible and read without demanding that every passage provide an immediate answer to whatever is troubling you. There is much to learn about God's character simply by paying attention to what Scripture tells us.

Consider how Jesus treated people. Notice what angered Him, what moved Him with compassion, and what He taught His disciples about following Him. Read about the mistakes people made and how God dealt with them.

Sometimes you'll find encouragement. Other times, you may encounter something that challenges an attitude or behaviour you've been defending.

I know how tempting it can be to move quickly past a passage that makes me uncomfortable. It's much easier to read about God's promises than to consider a commandment that exposes something I need to change. But both are part of His Word.

Our prayers can become more personal as well.

There are days when we have serious needs to bring before God, and we should never hesitate to do that. Yet we can also thank Him for His patience, praise Him for His goodness, acknowledge our mistakes, and talk to Him about what we're learning.

We don't have to arrive with a list every time, and we shouldn't assume that a meaningful time with God must always involve an extraordinary spiritual experience.

Some mornings we'll feel encouraged by what we've read. On others, our attention may wander, or we'll be tired before we even begin. I don't think that means the time was wasted.

Friendships develop through ordinary conversations as well as memorable experiences. We don't expect every conversation with someone we love to be profound. Much of a relationship is built through consistent attention.

I also think we need to be careful about comparing our routines with those of other Christians.

Someone might have an hour available for Bible reading and prayer. Another person may have fifteen minutes before leaving for work.

Naturally, we should make spending time with God a priority rather than continually giving Him whatever time happens to remain. But the number of minutes alone doesn't tell us whether we're listening, learning, or putting His Word into practice.

A person can read several chapters without giving much thought to what they've read. I've done that myself. There have also been occasions when a single verse has stayed on my mind long after I closed the Bible.

The important thing is that we're giving God's Word our attention and allowing it to influence how we live.

What Are We Unwilling to Surrender?

I keep coming back to the rich young ruler.

He came running to Jesus. He knelt before Him. He wanted eternal life, and he seemed genuinely interested in the answer to his question. But when Jesus invited him to follow, he discovered that doing so would cost him something he wasn't prepared to give up.

I wonder how many times I've approached God with a sincere desire to grow spiritually, only to become reluctant when I realized what needed to change.

It's easy to say we want to be more like Jesus. It's harder when that means apologizing to someone, abandoning a familiar habit, or admitting we've been holding onto an attitude that doesn't belong in our lives.

And sometimes the things we resist aren't particularly dramatic.

Perhaps we've been speaking impatiently to someone in our family. Maybe we've allowed a disagreement to damage a friendship because neither person wants to admit any responsibility. Or we keep putting off something we know we ought to do.

These are matters we can address today, without waiting for a special feeling or some extraordinary confirmation.

I've spent enough time making excuses for things I knew needed attention to recognize how unproductive that can become. We can pray for wisdom, but we also have to be willing to act on what God has already made clear.

As I think about my own relationship with the Lord, I don't want to measure its health only by how many prayers have been answered or how much Christian work I've accomplished.

I want to know Him better. To know Him more. That includes understanding His character, recognizing where my attitudes need to change, and learning to obey Him more consistently.

There are still things I struggle with. Some lessons have taken me longer to learn than they should have, and I know that I'm not finished discovering areas of my life that need attention. But I don't have to wait until I've figured everything out before taking the next step.

And neither do you.

Whatever your relationship with God looks like today, there's room to grow. Perhaps you've been following Jesus for decades, or maybe you're still fairly new in your faith and trying to understand what walking with Him actually involves.

Don't become discouraged because there are things in your life that still need work. God already knows about those areas, and He's able to help you change them as you continue seeking Him.

You may already know something He's been asking you to address. It could be a conversation you've avoided, a habit you've struggled to leave behind, or a decision you keep postponing because you're afraid of what might happen afterward.

Start there.

Ask God for His help, and take whatever step of obedience is in front of you. You don't need to have every question answered or every weakness overcome before you can make meaningful progress in your relationship with Him.

Remember, the rich young ruler walked away because he wasn't willing to release what stood between him and following Jesus. We have the opportunity to respond differently, even when obedience requires something difficult from us.

So be encouraged by the fact that God is still working in your life. The changes you need to make today may be challenging, but you don't have to approach them without His wisdom, patience, and strength.

The next time you open your Bible or spend time in prayer, give some attention to the One you're seeking. Listen to what His Word is teaching you, and when you recognize something that needs to change, ask Him to help you follow through.

You have a wonderful opportunity to keep growing closer to God, right where you are today.

Seek His presence, not just His presents.

And as you continue walking with Him, remember that knowing the Lord is about much more than enjoying His blessings.

It's about loving Him, trusting Him, and being willing to follow wherever He leads.

If this resonates with you, here's a short prayer you can say today:

"Dear God, thank You for allowing me to come to You with everything that's on my heart, even the concerns I've brought up so many times that I sometimes wonder whether I have anything new to say. Help me become more attentive to Your Word and more willing to follow what Your Spirit is teaching me, particularly when my own preferences are getting in the way. I want to know You more deeply and I recognize that there are attitudes and habits I still need Your help to change. Please continue working in those areas, including the ones I haven't been particularly eager to examine. Amen."

God bless you! 

Your brother in Christ,

Daniel
Daily Effective Prayer

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